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it always seems like in almost every relationship, romantic or friendship, that I always give up more or sacrifice more or give more towards it. if this is really true, its not healthy and i need to stop. i need to stop going out of my way to help people or to hang out. if the want to hang out or talk to me they will get ahold of me. some might say with this attitude you wont make any new friends and will lose the friends have, well since they all call and want to hang out all the time now, i dont see it as that big of a loss. i guess life is just a big question to me right now and i have no idea of the answer or where to start looking to find it. I thought i found part of the answer, but i get so many mixed signals its crazy. I often wonder if im a rebound, which is why i dont want to get to close or attached as i dont want to end up hurt. I mean seriously we were talking the same week you guys broke up, is this not a reasonable thought? you tell me you need time to hang out with your friends, yet one of the few nights i have normal plans every week, you ask me to go home and meet your parents. your parents are afraid to like me or think that im a good guy bc of all the other assholes you have brought home before. Im sorry im not a regular guy, and im not here to get in your pants, sorry. you talk about how much you like me, how nice i am to you, how sweet i am, that i know how to treat you right…but you never tell me im cute or anything, so am i wrong for thinking you like me for what i say and do and not really for me? are you mad that im not mr. happy and have life all together like the mask i put on. does it bother you that im really an emotional mess inside that no one really knows about. I have so much going through my head right now that i cant type it all out. I will add more to this later.
